Stanley Kubrick Week: Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

1 year ago

EYES WIDE SHUT – A viewing with my 16 year old self.

By Andrew Root

27: Look, I’m sorry to have to do this to you, guy. I know you… wanted to be alone when you watched this.

16: Oh, uh… yeah, don’t worry about it.

27: No, listen, I know it’s not an easy movie to rent. Especially as you still look so young. Those guys at Blockbuster have eagle eyes.

16: Heh, what? Psht, it’s not like I was even… Do you want to just start it?

27: Sure.

16: What’s with those black bars on either side of the screen?

27: It’s not shot in widescreen.

16: I hate widescreen movies. Those black bars at the top and bottom of the screen are annoying.

27: You’ll get used to it. It’ll be years before Mom and Dad spring for a widescreen tv. I don’t even think they have one now.

16: Obviously! Widescreen tvs are really expensive, and there’s only a few movies you can watch on them.

27: Quiet, it’s starting.

16: Oh man… Nicole Kidman… is… does…

27: She gives you feelings. I know. That is possibly the sexiest ass that’s ever been committed to film. And… now she’s on the toilet.

16: Whoa… why in the-?

27: I think Kubrick is trying to mess with our expectations. Like one moment she’s sexy and the next she’s doing something a little more… biological.

16: Kubrick?

27: Stanley Kubrick. The director.

16: …

27: He directed The Shining. You remember, that movie that you, Greg, Emmet, and Jennie watched over at Libby’s house when you made some really tasteless joke about death and you had to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out why Libby was so angry with you?

16: I didn’t know her grandfather had just died!

27: Well, it’s nine years later and you’re still not over it. You really should have known better.

16: Seriously? Nine years later?

27: Hey, do you remember the beginning of The Shining, when they’re driving up to the hotel?

16: Yeah, that long shot going up the mountain.

27: Do you remember seeing the shadow of the helicopter that they were filming from?

16: Yeah, Greg said it was left in there on purpose.

27: Why?

16: Well, he said Stanley Kubrick “doesn’t make mistakes,” that everything in his movies is on purpose. Is that true?

27: I don’t know. I don’t think so, but there’s lots of evidence that it is. Did you see the air conditioner in the window?

16: No.

27: Well… it was there. Just before Bill went into the bathroom.

16: Who’s Bill?

27: Tom Cruise. Somewhere around 21, you start making an effort to call characters by their names, not by the actor’s name who plays them.

16: What difference does it make? The commercial doesn’t say who the characters are. No one wants to see the movie because it’s the story of Bill. It’s Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. They’re married. It’s a movie with real sex in it. That’s why people want to see it.

27: It doesn’t have real sex in it.

16: Yeah, I heard it does.

27: Only porno movies have real sex in them. Hollywood movies don’t. Except for The Brown Bunny. Do you know who Chloe Sevigny is yet? And by the way, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman aren’t married anymore.

16: What? Yeah right!

27: Yeah, Tom Cruise married Joey from Dawson’s Creek.

16: I… have no idea who that is.

27: You do too.

16: Yeah, but why would there be an air conditioner in the window? They have a Christmas tree up.

27: Yeah, that’s kind of the point. Bill and Alice are too busy and absent minded to do normal things like take the air conditioner down at the end of summer. And like how Bill couldn’t find his wallet, even though it was in a really obvious place.

16: I… think you might be putting too much thought into this.

27: No, I’m just saying all of these little details count. They build up our idea of the characters.

16: I didn’t even notice that. I remember Nicole Kidman sitting on the toilet, but I don’t remember seeing the air conditioner.

27: You’ve got to pay more attention.

16: No, what I’ve got to pay attention to is who that guy with the accent is that’s dancing with Nicole Kidman.

27: Who he is is not really important. He’s more symbolic of Alice’s willingness to be flirtatious.

16: And who’s the naked girl in the bathroom? What’s she symbolic of?

27: I don’t know. I never really tried to figure it out. I was always too angry that Bill cured her from an overdose by being handsome. He doesn’t actually DO anything, but she recovers from a fucking drug overdose after he looks deep into her eyes.

16: ShutupNicoleKidmanisnakedagain.

27: And here comes Tom Cruise to ruin it.

16: Tom Cruise is awesome.

27: He gets weird.

16: It’s weird that you’re talking during this scene. God, it’s over already. I thought there’d be more sex.

27: Nicole Kidman’s been naked twice. You’ll see her naked again in like two seconds. There was a naked woman in the bathroom.

16: That was awkward. That wasn’t sexy. The commercial made it look like it was going to be really sexy. They called it the “sexiest movie of the year.”

27: It’s about sex, but it’s not really all that sexy.

16: Can we fast forward it?

27: Can you just sit still for 20 minutes? There’s an entire scene where you can see through Nicole Kidman’s shirt, ok? But maybe you should pay attention to what the movie’s about. It’s about infidelity, both of the mind and of the body, and which is worse. It’s almost biblical in a way.

16: ShutupNicoleKidmanisnakedagain.

27: If you don’t shut up, I’m going to fast forward through it all, and then you won’t know what’s going on at all.

16: Look, I’ll be honest with you: I don’t really care what’s going on.

27: WHAT?

16: Why do you really think I wanted to watch this movie? Come on.

27: But what about its worth as a piece of art? Stuff like the air conditioner! And later on, you’ll see reflections in a store window of a place that Bill visited earlier, but that he took a cab to go to, so it’s supposed to be far away, but it’s actually right across the street.

16: So?

27: Is that a mistake (like the helicopter in The Shining), or is that a character point?

16: Do people really care? The reason most people went to see this movie is to see the sex.

27: It still has worth beyond people’s expectations! Man, I was really looking forward to having this discussion with someone… Kubrick is an artist, and the work of an artist deserves to be studied.

16: But what’s the point? What do you get out of analyzing every tiny little detail of a movie? Maybe he did everything on purpose and maybe he didn’t. Maybe the reflections in the window are a mistake and maybe they’re not. So what? What does that give you?

27: A sense of mystery and intrigue! Of ineffability!

16: Can we pause it? I don’t want to miss the bit with the orgy. Look at all the weird masks! What’s the deal with those?

27: You little brat! I can’t believe that you would cast a great director’s work to the wayside like this in favour of trumped-up, sensationalized sex! You know what? You know what? There’s no sex for the last hour! None! How do you like that?

16: What!

27: Not a nipple to be found anywhere – except on a dead woman! Just frustrated soul-searching, Bill lying to himself about how cool and unshakable he is, a threatening man in a trenchcoat, and Alan Cumming as an effete hotel desk clerk! It’s 60 minutes of pure confusion; a vaguely motivated protagonist who is told that he’s “in over his head,” though what that means is never made clear; the disparity between Tom Cruise’s acting ability and his character’s handsome yet ineffectual charm; an absence of character-based dramatic tension that was so strong in the first half. What is it with Kubrick? This is just like Full Metal Jacket! That movie had a split personality, and so does this one!

16: Who’s Alan Cumming? What are you talking about? Why can’t I just see a movie because I want to see it?

27: Because you’re seeing it on false pretences! Most everyone who paid to see it was seeing it for the wrong reasons! It’s not about sex, it’s about people who have stopped having sex. It’s about dealing with the sexual loss of your long-term partner. Can you even imagine what it feels like to realize that someone you’ve built a life with has been emotionally unfaithful to you for years? Of course not. You’re just one of a million who have no idea that they’ve been had by a bunch of advertisers.

16: From what it sounds like, even you don’t enjoy the last half of this movie.

27: I just feel like I’m one of the only ones who’s actually seen the last half. The first half gets so much press because of the sensationalism of it. The last half is slower, yes, but it has just as much to offer as the first half.

16: The first half is pretty slow, too. I didn’t pay attention to most of it. You might just have to face it—the nudity is the main draw of this movie. People would rather see an orgy than a drawn-out depiction of an unhappy couple.

27: Is that really true?

16: Well, now that I know that there’s no nudity in the second half, I’m not sticking around.

27: Seriously? Come on!